Tag Archives: Pope Francis’s pet cat

News Headlines (Directors Cut)

13 Mar

Well we go over to Gill in the Vatican City square where Pope Frankie has just come out on the balcony to the applause of thousands of sad and senile people, what’s the mood like over in Rome Gill?

What you on about? I’m sat on your front room settee

Well we want to ask some serious questions, how come he gets elected and they have Pope costume that fits, does he have to go back to home to Argentina and pack his clothes, what about his cat, and the milkman. Not that there’s anything other than a purely dairy related relationship between Pope Frankie and the milkman.

Your’e obviously feeling better after that hideous cough and all that!

Yes, thanks Gill, the new pope is the first non European pope and its obviously a real big deal despite both his parents being Italian and him not looking south American in the least, is there anybody about you can ask, a nun or some weird teenager that needs a hobby?

I’m going home soon, I tell you what, I can’t think of many religions where there’s a top dog. You don’t get it in Islam and as far as I’m aware there’s no one above that Canterbury bloke. This pope was a chemist before he became a priest at the age of 32┬áso he might have…you know…er..life experience…

Buddhists have the Daily Llama, like a sort of small camel I think!

He’s already being described as against homosexual relationships and durex although as far as I’m aware he’s not mentioned any specific brand. I only added that to simplify things!

So nothing’s really changed then, one went gaga and died, his replacement didn’t die and now there’s a new one who seems to be as surprised at winning as all the people outside. Was Alan Sugar involved, or him with the daft hair?

Hey I’ve found a picture of him on Facebook, he looked different on the news, this might be an old one, or photoshopped.

Time for me to go, total dribble this blog if you ask me. Anyway how do you know the new pope has got a cat?

The new pope. According to Google!

The new pope. According to Google!